Wednesday, May 23, 2012

You know you're getting old when.......

Column posted in last week's issue of The Madison County Journal. To subscribe to the Journal visit www.mainstreetnews.com.


By Dallas Bordon
dallasb32@yahoo.com

I have come to the conclusion that I am going to have to admit something I’ve been denying for a couple of years; I’m getting old. The signs are there no matter how I try to ignore them. I am a month away from turning 46 and for the first time in my life I feel the wear and tear. I am no longer a man who can dive for ground balls on a softball field or slide head-first into a base. Even though I gave up the game more than 2 years ago, I still, only in my mind, think I can handle it all. And that statement in itself is another sign that I am getting old. My mind is making contracts that my body can’t meet. It’s said that if you think young, you’ll stay young. I’ve tried that and for the past 10 years and yes that thought process works until reality sets in.
I guess it’s a good thing that I can fool myself into believing that I can hang with those young guys on the softball field. That thought stayed with me until my final year of church league softball. A year that I began pulling muscles that I didn’t know I had. And the need for oxygen when returning to the dugout after running bases was just a thought that I might be out of shape instead. The fact that I was just getting too old to play never crossed my mind.
It’s not just softball that helped me realize I’m getting old. There are many more signs that daily remind me. Those reminders such as the grunting noise I make when standing up after sitting too long and the sighs I make when sitting down after standing too long. My thought process of “think young stay young” always gets rejected when my daughter laughs at the songs that were popular when I was a teenager. And when I mention the name of my favorite albums when growing up she responds with “What’s an album?” makes me realize that I am getting old. Flipping through my college yearbooks tends to draw laughter from her at the style of clothes and haircuts from back then. Not to be left out is the realization that I am getting old when I hear about my college classmates’ children being in or graduating from the same college that we once attended.
The signs are there no matter how much I deny them. I would like to think that the balding of my head over the years is heredity and not a sign of getting old and the fact that I have to wear reading glasses can be blamed on heredity as well. Rain now bounces off my head instead of soaking into a full head of hair I once had and my arms are almost too short to read the newspaper. I give up.
So if you’re in denial like me about getting old, just face reality. You know you’re getting old when……  1. You spend five minutes standing in a room trying to remember what you went in there for 2. Your favorite part of the newspaper is “20 years ago today” 3. Your back goes out more than you do 4. You are proud of your lawn mower 5. You tell people that your memory isn’t what it used to be and find that you can’t remember what your memory used to be 6. You start saying “When I was your age” 7. Your boss is younger than you are 8. You forget how old you are 9. You have to write yourself notes and then you can’t figure out what the notes mean 10. You disapprove of the clothing young people wear, and their music too. There are many more ways to tell you’re getting old but I’ll end with 10 because it’s time for my afternoon nap. 

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